to call my own

I don't know what I feel right now.
I don't know why I feel so alone despite being surrounded by colorful people.
I don't know why I can hardly smile lately.
What's wrong with me?

What I want?
I question that everyday, still I have no answer.

I miss those days of laughter.
I miss those days when I shed tears.
Those days used to feel so real.
Those days used to Be so real!
If only I didn't experience so much...

I heard the greetings, "Welcome to the real life!" so many times till I ain't believe in real life no more.

If all of the days are real life, which one is fake?
And if there are any, how can I tell when I feel the feelings everyday.

How can we forget things especially when it's pretty.
Who are we to decide what to forget when we believed those were real.

p/s: i'm scared and i just realized why..