This is originally posted from my dearly lovely ukhti, Johany Masdar to her sister upon getting married.. I am getting married soon Inshaa Allah... And i am posting this in hoping that i can take the advise too and can come back here to visit so i will always remember... And my eyes are teary upon reading this...
Here it goes..............
My eyes are teary upon posting this. *emo lah!*
A special dedication to dearest sister, Nini who's getting married tomorrow. Its hard to believe that you'll be someone's wife soon... Its hard to let you "go".. .The time spent with you seems not enough now... but i am happy for you knowing that you're upholding The Prophet's sunnah, and knowing that you will be in good hands, insha Allah. You are and will always be the apple of my eyes.
Originally, this is a piece of advice of a mother named Umamah bint al-Harith, one of the most eloquent and learned women, who was possessed of wisdom and great maturity, to her daughter on the eve of her marriage. But, sister, I dedicate this to you... These beautiful words deserve to be inscribed in golden ink, really. Please read with an open heart...
Umamah said, ‘O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you possess these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise. ‘O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.
So Dear Sister...You are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion with whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.
Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.
The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.
The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.
The fifth and the sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.
The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.
The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.
Be careful, O my sister, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment, whilst the latter will make him unhappy.
Show him as much honor and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.
Know, O my sister, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) choose what is best for you and protect you...
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Masha Allah... Sesungguhnya, 'Jodoh itu Kuasa Allah'. Our task is not to look for a good partner. Our task is to learn to be that good partner.. Thank you Johany for making this clear, at least for me... May Allah s.w.t bless you and family always... ;)
p/s: Syukur Alhamdulillah... Thank you seems not enough dear Allah for loving us like this... Please O please let us be among those who believed... Ameeen Ya Rabb~
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